For Your Enjoyment #32

Kraft Singles, those individually wrapped slices of processed cheese that have long been a staple of school lunches, are the first product to earn a nutrition seal from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, the trade group representing 75,000 registered dietitians and other nutrition professionals.

- The NYT examines how Kraft American Singles earned the official "Kids Eat Right" label (image above)

"We’re trying to understand the minute detail of how waddling works with living penguins, and then taking that back in time, looking at the fossil record of penguins to understand how evolving for such a specialised underwater lifestyle has affected their ability to move on land."

- Scientists are using a special motion detecting ‘catwalk’ to study penguin waddling. On a related note: How do I become a Penguin Waddling Scientist?

[T]he Utah legislation should not become a model for the nation. The bill contains troubling exemptions for religious groups, allowing them to continue to discriminate in ways that would be impermissible in many other states and under federal law. In particular, the Utah law specifically exempts religiously affiliated nonprofits such as schools, hospitals, and social service organizations.

- Utah State Bill 296: Antidiscrimination and Religious Freedom Amendments may be a step in the right direction, but it's not everything

The OU frat video released earlier this week shocked the nation. But not me. I never believed the lie of a post-racial America, so new heights of white shittiness don’t surprise me. Instead, my mind went to that kid who still longed to be the unwanted “n****er” in a fraternity where he’d be like Baldwin’s “fly in the buttermilk.” That black boy or girl who has no idea who the hell s/he is, who thinks that finding a home in places like the SAE house might offer some desperately needed sense of belonging. I write this in the hopes of reaching that lost black body floating adrift in the chaos of racial identity — just like I did for much of my life.

- Kasai Rex reflects on his struggle to ignore white prejudice in a lifelong attempt to fit in

Not long ago, our blockbuster business books spoke in unison: Trust your gut... No more. The gut is dead. Long live the data, turned out day and night by our myriad computers and smart devices. Not that we trust the data, as we once trusted our guts. Instead, we “optimize” it. We optimize for it. We optimize with it. A sucker is optimized every minute. 

- The NYT discusses the ongoing trend of reducing ourselves into data sets; Mark Morford of the SF Gate chimes in here

What parent wouldn't want to guarantee their child's safety? But are surgically implanted tracking devices the answer?

- A few brief arguments for and against the idea of microchipping your children

Noting how he piled on yet another healthy practice to his perfectly goddamned balanced lifestyle, exasperated friends confirmed Wednesday that annoying, well-adjusted 32-year-old Ryan Miller is even fucking meditating now. “Christ, the emotionally stable fucker already loves his job, exercises four times a week, and now he has the balls to spend 10 minutes every morning sitting quietly and breathing deeply to clear his mind,” said longtime friend Michael Saunders, adding that it was bad enough when the irritatingly healthy Miller switched from drinking coffee to herbal tea.

- Let's all admit that we know what The Onion is talking about here

For Your Enjoyment #31

A group of researchers (two psychologists and a composer) with truly lovely research interests recently embarked on a mission to create music that was designed specifically for domestic cats' enjoyment. 

- I think I found Gatsby's next present (image above)

"In an effort to help working individuals improve their fitness and well-being, experts at the Mayo Clinic issued a new set of health guidelines Thursday recommending that Americans stand up at their desk, leave their office, and never return."

- The Onion offers some helpful suggestions for bettering your physical and mental health

Kai has now moved into his [new, adoptive] forever home.

- A happy ending for Kai, the shar-pei mix who was found abandoned at a train station along with a suitcase of his belongings

The institutions are concerned that selfie sticks could damage works of art and create a safety hazard for patrons. 

- Going to a museum? Best leave your selfie stick at home,

Science shows that when it comes to maintaining your metabolism—the bodily system that helps us turn food into energy and, when out of whack, can lead to diabetes and other disorders—it doesn't make a whit of difference whether you eat breakfast or not ... [a]nd breakfast isn't the only metabolically unimportant meal. In fact, it doesn't seem to matter much at all how and when you get your calories ... The one thing that might actually improve your metabolism is periodic fasting.

- Mother Jones reports on why you should maybe just stop eating (Note: this won't work for me...)

Philz is gearing up to take its experience far beyond the Bay Area, and has raised a healthy amount of money to help do it.

- Need your daily (hourly?) caffeine fix? Philz Coffee has raised $15 million to expand nationwide

Researcher Jianzhi Zhang, a molecular and genomic evolution professor at the University of Michigan, recently examined the emperor penguin's genome. But he says he couldn't find the bird's genes to taste umami, the savory flavor of fish or meat.

- Penguins can't taste their dinner?!  This doesn't seem to be stopping this guy.

[The Hello Kitty Cafe Truck] will be parked at Japantown’s Cherry Blossom Festival on April 11, April 12 and April 18, each day from 10am to 5pm.

- Looks like my Asian self will be camped out in Japantown for a few days