For Your Enjoyment* #28, The Not-At-All-Colorblind Ed.

* Disclaimer: Nothing about this installment – language, content or otherwise – is "enjoyable" in any sense of the word. 

[A]fter viewing the footage and hearing from witnesses, including the officer who used the chokehold, the jurors deliberated for less than a day before deciding that there was not enough evidence to go forward with charges against the officer, Daniel Pantaleo, 29, in the death of the man, Eric Garner, 43...Officer Pantaleo said in statement on Wednesday that he felt “very bad about the death of Mr. Garner."

- There are no words strong enough to describe how I feel about this (image above source)

"I think what is so utterly depressing is that none of the ambiguities that existed in the Ferguson case exist in the Staten Island case. And yet the outcome is exactly the same: no crime, no trial; all harm, no foul. In Ferguson at least you had conflicting witness testimony, you had conflicting forensics. You had the spectre, at least, of police self-defense. But here, there is none of that. The coroner called it a homicide. The guy’s not acting threatening and we know that not through witness testimony [of] unreliable bystanders, but because we are fucking watching it. Someone taped it…We are definitely not living in a post-racial society, and I can imagine there are a lot of people imagining how much of a society we’re living in at all.”

Jon Stewart

On a related note:

It is the grand jury’s function not ‘to enquire … upon what foundation [the charge may be] denied,’ or otherwise to try the suspect’s defenses, but only to examine ‘upon what foundation [the charge] is made’ by the prosecutor. Respublica v. Shaffer, 1 Dall. 236 (O. T. Phila. 1788); see also F. Wharton, Criminal Pleading and Practice § 360, pp. 248-249 (8th ed. 1880). As a consequence, neither in this country nor in England has the suspect under investigation by the grand jury ever been thought to have a right to testify or to have exculpatory evidence presented.

What is the role of a grand jury? (h/t DM)

Many white people think that these cries of outrage over racism by African Americans are directed at them, which makes them frightened, defensive and equally outraged. They feel like they are being blamed for a problem that’s been going on for many decades, even centuries. They feel they are being singled out because of the color of their skin rather than any actions they’ve taken. They are angry at the injustice. And rightfully so. Why should they be attacked and blamed for something they didn’t do? Which is exactly how black people feel. The difference is that when the media frenzy dies down, and columnists, pundits and newscasters take a break from examining the causes of social evils, white people get to go back to their lives of relative freedom and security. But blacks still have to worry about being harassed or shot by police. About having their right to vote curtailed by hidden poll taxes. Of facing a biased judicial system. Every. Single. Day.

- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, "Welcome to Our World"

“We went from our first name being ‘n**ger’ and our last name being ‘boy’, to our first crime being Black and our second crime being Alive."

Black in America

Whites, who benefit from racism, think it is acceptable to tell Black people to “behave” like MLK, when he was murdered for the same reasons that we have to fight today. 

- Trudy of Gradient Lair explains how MLK has been appropriated into a trope to silence black people

So what I would do [when I was pulled over] was: I would slip my college ID over my driver's license. The officer's eyes would light up. Not your college ID, he would say, amused. Then he would go back to his car and dally a little, pretending to check on things, before handing my license back with some mock-heroic advice about staying out of trouble. The story ends right there. I remember feeling vague anger afterwards, although I was probably feeling something a lot closer to despair. Every time I used the college ID trick, it bred in me a kind of survivor's guilt, a guilt about a life that feels as if it's being protected weakly, through cowardice. Because what I was really doing was saying, Yes, some of us deserve to be shot in the street, but this ID proves that I'm not one of them. I used the little plastic card to secure my status as One Of The Good Ones, and I always drove away ashamed, always. At best, I was reducing my humanity — my right to not get shot by a police officer — to a giveaway received during freshman orientation. At worst, I was just delaying what is now starting to feel inevitable ... This is probably a good time to backtrack a little and talk about fear. To be black and interact with the police is a scary thing. The fear doesn't have to come from any kind of historical antagonism, which, trust me, would be enough; it can also come from many data points of personal experience, collected over time. Almost all black men have these close-call-style stories, and we collect and mostly keep them to ourselves until one of us is killed... The thing to remember is that each of these experiences compounds the last, like interest, so that at a certain point just seeing a police officer becomes nauseating. That feeling is fear.

- Do yourself a favor and take a quick moment to read Lanre Akinsiku's "Price of Blackness" in its entirety

I came into that meeting knowing that the illest part of racial terror in this nation is that it's sanctioned by sorry overpaid white bodies that will never be racially terrorized and maintained by a few desperate underpaid black and brown bodies that will. I left that meeting knowing that there are few things more shameful than being treated like a nigger by — and under the gaze of — intellectually and imaginatively average white Americans who are not, and will never have to be, half as good at their jobs as you are at yours... My Vassar College Faculty ID affords me free smoothies, free printing paper, paid leave, and access to one of the most beautiful libraries on Earth. It guarantees that I have really good health care and more disposable income than anyone in my Mississippi family. But way more than I want to admit, I'm wondering what price we pay for these kinds of ID's, and what that price has to do with the extrajudicial disciplining and killing of young black human beings.

- Like Akinsiku's piece (above), Kiese Laymon's "My Vassar College Faculty ID Makes Everything OK" is well worth your time to read 

For Your Enjoyment #27

"While traditional retailers will be monitoring store traffic and sales on Black Friday, online retailers have set their sights on something different: Cyber Monday, the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is quickly becoming one of the biggest online shopping days of the year."

- The history of Cyber Monday (image above, J. Crew) 

"Everyone on the internet thinks they could be a better dino supervisor - BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE."

- Phil TippettJurassic Park's Dinosaur Supervisor, will be back for Jurassic World

Over the next ten months, we learned to truly love our son. Period. No buts. No conditions. Just because he breathes. We learned to love whoever our son loved. And it was easy. What I had been so afraid of became a blessing. The journey wasn’t without mistakes, but we had grace for each other, and the language of apology and forgiveness became a natural part of our relationship. As our son pursued recovery from drug and alcohol addiction, we pursued him. God taught us how to love him, to rejoice over him, to be proud of the man he was becoming. We were all healing … and most importantly, Ryan began to think that if WE could forgive him and love him, then maybe God could, too.

The Christian parents of a 17-year-old who a drug overdose have become advocates for the LGBTQ community

White people simply love to spend their free time walking up and down mountains and sleeping in the forest. 

- The Great Outdoors has a diversity problem (See also: National Parks' attempt to appeal to minorities / Stuff White People Like)

[T]he boundary separating white Anglo upscale school districts from the burgeoning non-white and non-Anglo populations in downscale communities is fast becoming a flashpoint inside America.

- Robert Reich examines "border patrol" issues in regards to public school enrollment

1915 (Crisco) to 2014 (Soylent)

- 100 Years of Food (See also: 100 Years of Fears)

“But I think what I can say is that Toadette and Toad are not siblings -- perhaps it would be more accurate to say they are adventure pals."

- In case you were wondering, Nintendo's characters don't necessarily follow the gender binary

"Nothing is worse than not being noticed."

- Jeremiah Tower, of Chez Panisse, Stars and California cuisine fame, is set to take on Tavern on the Green

Here’s the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it’s all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they’re not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before. So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. [T]he thing is, we treat racism in this country like it’s a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You’ve got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it’s immune to and what breaks it down.

- Chris Rock on pop culture, civil rights and everything in between

Our single-minded focus on increasing wealth has succeeded in driving the planet's ecological systems to the brink of failure, even as it's failed to make us happier. How did we screw up? The answer is pretty obvious – we kept doing something past the point that it worked. Since happiness had increased with income in the past, we assumed it would inevitably do so in the future.

- In not entirely groundbreaking news: Money ≠ Happiness

"People always say that I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.” 

- December 1, 1955

For Your Enjoyment #26, Thanksgiving Ed.

In 1953, someone at Swanson colossally miscalculated the level of the American appetite for Thanksgiving turkey, leaving the company with some 260 tons of frozen birds sitting in ten refrigerated railroad cars. Enter the father of invention, Swanson salesman Gerry Thomas, a visionary inspired by the trays of pre-prepared food served on airlines. Ordering 5,000 aluminum trays, concocting a straightforward meal of turkey with corn-bread dressing and gravy, peas and sweet potatoes (both topped with a pat of butter), and recruiting an assembly line of women with spatulas and ice-cream scoops, Thomas and Swanson launched the TV dinner at a price of 98 cents (those are Eisenhower-era cents, of course).

- Thanksgiving leftovers launched the TV dinner

I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.

- Proclamation of Thanksgiving, Abraham Lincoln, October 3, 1863

"Under my authority as vice president of the United States of America, I hereby grant this yam full and unconditional clemency," a smiling Biden declared as he gently patted "Spud," a Beauregard sweet potato grown in Louisiana and selected from millions of candidates yielded by this year’s harvest. 

- A classic Onion report on the annual Vice Presidential Yam Pardoning

Damn it, I’m a legitimate part of the meal, and it’s about time I was treated as such.

- The Cranberry Sauce Has Something to Say

I am not suggesting that you substitute the sweet potato for the turkey as the centerpiece on your Thanksgiving table, though you could do worse. I am merely saying that the sweet potato deserves more attention and even a bit of praise.

- All Hail the Sweet Potato

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house. We had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

- Jon Stewart

For a time early in this century, the pardoned birds were sent to Disneyland. More often, they went to farms in Virginia for public display. This year the birds will travel to the Mount Vernon Estate and Gardens for “Christmas at Mount Vernon."

A History of the Presidential Turkey Pardon

Every year deep-fryer fires are responsible for five deaths, 60 injuries, the destruction of 900 homes, and more than $15-million in property damage, according to the National Fire Protection Association. 

- Be careful out there

In 1924, R. H. Macy and Company introduced two institutions: the first Seventh Avenue addition to the existing Broadway store in Herald Square and the Macy's Christmas Parade. Yes, what we now know as Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade started out as a Christmas pageant. R. H. Macy and Company was a company full of immigrants, who were thankful for the opportunities that America and New York City gave them. They decided to give thanks and celebrate their good fortune with a tradition rooted in the festivals of their homelands: parades.

- A history of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

In 1939, FDR decided to move Thanksgiving Day forward by a week. Rather than take place on its traditional date, the last Thursday of November, he decreed that the annual holiday would instead be celebrated a week earlier. The reason was economic. There were five Thursdays in November that year, which meant that Thanksgiving would fall on the 30th. That left just 20 shopping days till Christmas. By moving the holiday up a week to Nov. 23, the president hoped to give the economy a lift by allowing shoppers more time to make their purchases and – so his theory went –spend more money.

- That time FDR tried to move Thanksgiving

In 1857, James Lord Pierpont, an organist at a Unitarian church in Savannah, Georgia, published the music and lyrics to a song he had written, “The One Horse Open Sleigh.” The song was first performed during a Thanksgiving concert at the church.

- "Jingle Bells" was originally written for a Thanksgiving celebration

You might think that your post-turkey nap is caused by the bird itself, but this is actually just a myth.

- No, turkey doesn't make you sleepy. Overeating does

"If forced at gunpoint to pick just one I would opt for the Pinot Noir. It would work with both light and dark meat as well as with many of the accoutrements that go with the bird."

- Red or white?

[W]ith their giant size, stooped frame, and limited mobility, today's birds bear little resemblance to their early counterparts. So how did we end up with these modern megabirds? According to Suzanne McMillan, senior director of the farm animal welfare campaign of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, it wasn't by accident.

- A thoroughly unappetizing glimpse into the inhumane modern turkey industry (See also: this)

Beginning in the early 1900s, more and more Americans were opening up to the novel idea that thanksgiving need not include turkey. What they could not – or would not – fathom was Thanksgiving sans celery.

- Celery and Olives Dominated Thanksgiving for Nearly 100 Years—Until They Didn't

Similar dishes are known as hashbrown casserole or cheesy potatoes in other parts of the country.

- Mormon funeral potatoes – What is your state Googling this Thanksgiving? (See also: this...and this)

The daredevil-ish recipe calls for a tiny warbler stuffed in a bunting, inserted in a lark, squeezed in a thrush, thrown in a quail, inserted in a lapwing, introduced to a plover, piled into a partridge, wormed into a woodcock, shoehorned into a teal, kicked into a guinea fowl, rammed inside a duck, shoved into a chicken, jammed up in a pheasant, wedged deep inside a goose, logged into a turkey. And just when you think a 16-bird roast is probably enough, it's not. This meat sphere is finally crammed up into a Great Bustard, an Old World turkey-turned-wrapping paper, for this most epic of poultry meals.

- Your turducken has nothing on Laurent Grimod de la Reynière's rôti sans pareil

In fact, so many people participated in masking and making merry back then that, according to a widely distributed item that appeared in the Los Angeles Times of Nov. 21, 1897, Thanksgiving was "the busiest time of the year for the manufacturers of and dealers in masks and false faces. The fantastical costume parades and the old custom of making and dressing up for amusement on Thanksgiving day keep up from year to year in many parts of the country, so that the quantity of false faces sold at this season is enormous."

- Halloween...or Thanksgiving

In short, if shopping on the other 364 days of the year is the behavioral economist's version of bringing a knife to a gunfight, going out on Black Friday is going to that same gunfight with a knife made out of Play-Doh. Between retail tricks and your own cognitive flaws, you have almost no chance of actually saving money or making rational decisions. (Plus, you might get trampled.)

-  Maybe you should just stay home on Black Friday

Gratitude is an antidote to life’s hardships and an magnifier of its blessings. We must practice it not just at Thanksgiving, or just when life is easy. We must practice it always.

- Remember, you don't need to wait for Thanksgiving to give thanks 

"F*** the diet."

- This guy

For Your Enjoyment #25

"The problem with that bear is it doesn't have a complete wardrobe," said councillor Ryszard Cichy. "It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children."

- Winnie the Pooh has reportedly been rejected as a possible mascot for a Polish playground (image above)

Chasing love is not irresponsible, it’s honest. It’s admitting that there is no greater chase, nothing more important. Because if you’re not chasing love, what are you running after?

- "Staying Is Settling", a sweet. if not overly idealistic, essay on why moving is necessary

While Oakland is now in the midst of downward trend in violent crime, it continues to have the highest per-capita crime rate in the state – a rate five times the California average.

- Oh, Oakland

Always end your book with Nelson Mandela saying something about rainbows or renaissances. Because you care.

- Looking to be offensive? Check out Binyavanga Wainaina's satirical essay, "How to Write About Africa"

The number of Fortune 500 companies willing pay for sex reassignment surgeries and other transgender-related healthcare has gone from zero in 2002 to 169 this year.

- Transgender healthcare is on the rise

My name is David, and I am the marine biologist who put a shrimp on a treadmill – a burden I will forever carry. To be clear, the treadmill did not cost millions of taxpayer dollars, the goal of the research was not to exercise shrimp, and the government did not pay me – or anyone else –to work out shrimp on treadmills.

How a $47 Shrimp Treadmill Became a $3-Million Political Plaything

At a news conference, the St. Louis County prosecutor, Robert P. McCulloch, said that members of the grand jury deliberated for more than two days before finding that no probable cause existed to file charges against Officer Wilson.

- Ferguson

Let's not just make noise, let's make a difference.

- Lesley McSpadden and Michael Brown, Sr., parents of Michael Brown, Jr.

For Your Enjoyment #24

Emperor penguins are notoriously shy. When researchers approach, these penguins normally back away and their heart rate goes up. That's not what the scientists need when they want to check heart rate, health and other penguin parameters. So international scientists and filmmakers, led by Yvon Le Maho of the University of Strasbourg in France, created a remote control rover disguised as a chick to snuggle up to shy penguins in Adelie Land, Antarctica …

Roving penguin cams allow a glimpse into life on the ice (image above; h/t DM)

“It’s nice to finally have a simple, clean expanse of unspoiled nature where I can just pop in, enjoy looking at a couple of endangered condors, grab a quick breakfast and the day’s paper by a windswept escarpment, and then be on my way."

- The Onion reports on the newest National Park for business travelers 

[T]rying hard to be different often ends up in hipsters consistently taking the same decisions, in other words all looking alike. We resolve this apparent paradox studying a canonical model of statistical physics, enriched by incorporating the delays necessary for information to be communicated.

- The conformity of everyone's favorite anti-conformists

To stay relevant and increase demand for potatoes, it will be critical to understand Millennials and how potatoes fit into their lives – now and in the future.

- The United States Potato Board is working to understand the role of potatoes in the lives of Millennials

Here’s an insanely revolutionary act: why not counter each ill thought that comes through your head with an acceptance – the acceptance that you’re not always going to agree with everything every woman does. Or an acceptance that some women will be tricky and some will be actual bitches, some of them will read Lean In and be the next Sheryl Sandberg, some women will call Beyoncé an anti-feminist, some will be walking contradictions, or some women will say that I’m a fake behind my back, or that I’m a liar, and that I don’t write well, or whatever – and just to accept that people are just people, women are just women, instead of reacting poorly and slamming them in whatever juvenile way that you see fit.

- Women, let's all love each other, respect and appreciate each other, and be there for one another, shall we? (h/t CM) 

[O]n its war path to a $30 billion valuation, Uber continues to battle itself with questionable comments and tactics that are in danger of harming the company’s reputation and becoming a liability.

- Uber might be kind of a creep and you should probably be creeped out by its creepiness 

That’s it. Enough already. Enough. Enough. Enough. Whether we want to or not, we have to deal with our feminist bullying problem.

- Feminist bullies are just that, bullies

For Your Enjoyment #23

 
 

When the hammer came down, the audience broke into applause. The final price for Apocalypse Now, including the buyer’s premium paid to Christie’s: $26.4 million. It had appreciated roughly 350,000 percent in 25 years.

- Christopher Wool's "Apocalypse Now":  $7500 in 1988 / $26.4 million in 2013 (image above)

I explained to them it was a Nobel Prize, and their main question was, ‘Why were you in Fargo?’

- The hassles of carrying the Nobel medal through airport security

[Google's] decision to mount the Trekker on a camel's back stemmed from the desire to collect truly authentic imagery while minimizing environmental impact. 

- Google's Street View visits the Arabian Desert with the help of camel-mounted trekker cameras

If I’m going to tell my daughter that she can do almost anything a man can do (excepting some very specific biological acts), then I also need to show her that a man can do almost anything a woman can do too … especially when it’s something awesome like dressing up as a character from one of the best movies ever.

- This Princess Leia dad and his Hans Solo daughter win at Halloween 

The world’s first whisky experiment in space touched down safe and sound in Kazakhstan, T minus a few hours ago. And now it’s on its way to Houston.

- Ardbeg sent vials of terpenes into space 

"Pengwing? Pengling?" 

- Benedict Cumberbatch is struggling

“Hello. I’m looking for a pocketbook that will match my snake,” I said to a salesman. “Maybe something in reptile.” I shuffled [Mexican milk snake] Augustus from one hand to the other as though he were a Slinky. The salesman handed me a smart, yellow python bag marked $9,000. “I think this would work the best. It’s one of our classics. I think yellow. Red makes the snake look too dull.”

- Emotional Support Animals (ESL): how far is too far? 

A bee-ver!

- And finally, this guy 

For Your Enjoyment #22

Last Sunday, 34-year-old Peder Mondrup became the first person with cerebral palsy to complete an Ironman triathlon, thanks to his own determination and the tremendous love and support of his twin brother, Steen. Using special equipment, Steen swam 2.4 miles while pulling Peder on a rubber raft, biked 112 miles with his brother seated in front of him, and ran 26.2 miles while pushing Peder in a wheelchair across hilly terrain. It took the incredible duo 15 hours, 32 minutes, and 48 seconds to complete the grueling KMD Ironman Copenhagen Challenge, but they finally crossed the finish line together amidst the bright lights and loud cheers of spectators close to midnight on August 24.

- Team Tvilling completes the Ironman Copenhagen Challenge (image above)

"[Bat Boy] was one of the most in-depth characters we dealt with. He could be mean, he could be spiteful, but he could also be kind. And every once in while, he would be captured by the FBI and held in an undisclosed location near Lexington, Kentucky."

- The Washington Post explores the life and death of The Weekly World News

It is impossible for us to fully know the inner lives of octopuses, but the more we continue to study them and other forms of life, the closer we can come to a working definition of “intelligence.” The real quandary here is, when we find them, what if aliens turn out to be delicious?

- The ethics of eating octopus

“With ProMiler, achieving your exercise goals is as simple as turning on your device in the morning and being notified that you’ve already run five miles,” ProMiler spokesman John Lyons said while demonstrating the app, which uses advanced GPS technology to display a new, randomly generated five-mile running route near the user’s location every day. “The more you take advantage of ProMiler, the better runner you become, as the app automatically reduces your running time by several seconds per day. And with our ‘Calories Burned’ counter staying fixed at the number 1,000 each day, 100 percent of our users report hitting their fitness targets. The results speak for themselves.”

- The Onion presents a new exercise app that tells users they've run five miles a day no matter what

Patrick was found as a baby on the roadside after his mother was killed by a car. [Ballarat Wildlife Park's] managing director, Greg Parker, remembers it clearly, stating, “He was a rascal then. Once he was in the car and climbed over to the driver’s side, putting the car in gear and drove it through the neighbor’s fence.” The park staff tried to release Patrick back into the wild on several occasions, but he was always attacked by other wombats and brought back to the park for his own safety. Since then, the lovable creature has delighted park guests and the visitors to his newly-created Facebook page.

- Happy 29th Birthday, Patrick the Wombat!

For Your Enjoyment #21

Scientists estimate that in about 10 years, America will have only three dark patches of land where people will be able to clearly see the Milky Way and where they'll be able to do high-quality astronomy and nocturnal wilderness research.

- Light pollution is causing our dark skies to disappear (image above)

[H]ere’s the issue: There’s no regulation that stipulates presidents must salute the troops. In fact, for the first 192 years of our republic, it didn’t happen. None of the first 38 commanders in chief did it. And some of those dudes had some serious military experience.

- Sorry, the Presidential Salute Isn't A Real Thing

“Uber’s like an exploiting pimp,” said Arman, an Uber driver in LA who asked me to withhold his last name out of fear of retribution. “Uber takes 20 percent of my earnings, and they treat me like shit – they cut prices whenever they want. They can deactivate me whenever they feel like it, and if I complain, they tell me to fuck off.”

- Uber gets ugly

Didn’t he think it was, somehow and in some way, wrong to insinuate that Madewell today has any connection to my family’s company? Wasn’t that misleading and just a little bit gross? 

- Madewell: Authentic or Faux-thentic? (h/t CM) 

Using the knowledge gleaned from their “pet emergency pocket guides,” firefighters treated the injured hamsters with oxygen and other first aid equipment. 

- Washington firefighters rescue a family of hamsters

California’s Gov. Jerry Brown on Sunday signed a law requiring all state colleges to adopt a policy of unambiguous, affirmative consent by students engaged in sexual activity, part of a nationwide effort to curb sexual assault on U.S. campuses. The state’s so-called "yes means yes" law will be the first in the nation to make affirmative consent language a central tenet of school sexual assault policies, proponents said.

- Consent is Sexy; California addresses sexual assault with its new affirmative consent law

Simply put, Twombly had taken on a role deemed acceptable for a gay but distasteful for a serious artist; he had come out as a decorator. Equally distressing perhaps, Twombly made no distinction between decoration and art.

- The secret history of Cy Twombly

For Your Enjoyment #20

The road instantly turned to mud and gravel the moment we passed the sign, and after about three turns we crested a ridge giving us a view of the Alaska we were leaving behind: civilization lay behind us now. 

- A 10,000-mile motorcycle trip from San Francisco to Alaska; the results are absolutely beautiful (image above)

George, a 10-year-old goldfish in Australia, had a relatively large tumor on its head. So George's owners brought the fish to Lort Smith Animal Hospital in Melbourne, where a veterinarian successfully performed surgery on the pet. According to the hospital, the procedure last week went ... "swimmingly."

You don't have to give up on a sick goldfish!

The reality of living with an iPhone, or any smart, connected device, is that it makes reality feel just that little bit less real. One gets over-connected, to the point where the thoughts and opinions of distant anonymous strangers start to feel more urgent than those of your loved ones who are in the same room as you. One forgets how to be alone and undistracted. Ironically enough experiences don’t feel fully real till you’ve used your phone to make them virtual – tweeted them or tumbled them or Instagrammed them or YouTubed them, and the world has congratulated you for doing so. 

- Is Apple technology taking over our bodies and our lives?

"We're celebrating the elegance of the past and embracing some qualities that have been left behind - poise and decency. The DecoBelles do mid-range kicks, the Charleston and a dance with hats. It's very cute and charming. We don't twerk."

- SF Gate reports on The Art Deco Society of California's annual Gatsby Summer Afternoon (h/t DM)

For our generation – a shoulder demographic between Generation X and the millennials – this was one of our movies, a film that managed, however oddly, to capture the ineffable feeling of being a (white, straight) quasi-alienated teenager in a very specific time.

- BuzzFeed takes a look at the belated success and enduring impact of 90s cult classic "Empire Records"

“It’s like winning the lottery,” Rothblatt said happily, about seeing her name atop the list of America’s 200 highest-paid CEOs]. But Rothblatt could not be less interested in establishing herself as a role model for women. “I can’t claim that what I have achieved is equivalent to what a woman has achieved. For the first half of my life, I was male,” she said.

The life of Martine Rothblatt, the 59-year-old transgendered founder and CEO of United Therapeutics

The unsavory manifestations of Lovecraft’s dread can’t be surgically removed from his fiction by an act of willful blindness, as some fans seem to think. To the contrary, they help us to understand it, but to do that we need to be able to accept the truth that even great artists – greater ones than Lovecraft, certainly – have their ugly sides, and that ugliness can be inextricable from their greatness.

- Trying to separate Lovecraft's work from his documented racism

IS has achieved something scarcely conceivable in the Middle East by uniting the bitterest of foes in a common purpose.

- The Economist examines the messy political allegiances of the Middle East

For Your Enjoyment #19

Sabra has identified a three-step hummus learning process.

- About 80 million Americans don't know what hummus is (image above)

The Sweet Valley High novels were undoubtedly the literary training bras for those of us who were preteens in the eighties.

- Amy Benfer dissects one of my favorite guilty pleasures of all time, "Sweet Valley High"

"Every part of us wanted to believe that he was pulled out in time," he said, "but the logical side of us knew that he wasn't."

- Was a tragedy at a 2013 Tough Mudder preventable?

How do you feel about the typing indicator –“David is typing” – that appears on your buddy’s screen while you’re composing a message in chat? Does it make you feel self-conscious? Do you feel paranoid? If so, you have me to blame, because I was one of the people who invented the damn thing. But I can explain everything.

- The developer of the iPhone "…" typing indicator defends his stress-inducing creation

[Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the World Wide Web] revealed the thing about Web use today that surprises him most: kittens. Yes, the Web’s obsession with cats - be they grumpy, heart-meltingly adorable or musically inclined - has astounded the man who helped make it all possible.

- Inventor Of Web Astounded By All The Cats Online

"There's this unwritten rule of the Internet, it's called rule zero, and it's you don't mess with cats." 

- The online efforts of animal rights activists led to the capture of killer Luka Magnotta

[F]or the 25,000 or so active abalone hunters in California, this ugly sea snail, with the meaty texture of steak and the delicate flavor of calamari, is an unsurpassed luxury. And the punishment and perils of the hunt are more than a cheap adrenaline rush. For them abalone is a taste worth dying for.

- San Francisco Magazine examines the increasingly dangerous sport of abalone diving

[O]pponents of single-sex education argue that separating children by gender is not only sexist, it also leads to harmful gender stereotyping. They also state that the existing science does not show that same-sex education has tangible benefits and that public funding should not be used to support segregating students by gender. Yet interest in the potential promise of single-sex schooling continues to grow. 

The never-ending controversy over single-sex education

I’ve never hated a film quite the way I hate Dead Poets Society.

- Kevin Dettmar, humanities scholar, explains his hatred for "Dead Poet's Society"

Teaching isn’t like the movies. It’s a lot more boring than what you see in Hollywood. Breakthroughs come a lot slower. And guess what? That’s a good thing. 

- Why you should stop watching Feel-Good Teacher movies

The Moomin Café in Japan seats solo diners with cuddly stuffed animals to make the experience of dining alone a little less lonely.

- Dining alone? Not anymore!

Hertz will happily rent you an Audi, (or a Porsche, for that matter). What they won’t do is prevent you from having to encounter the idea of a Hyundai – to pass one under the Gold canopy, for example, or to be seated next to normals on the courtesy bus who might later slum it in an Elantra. When Silvercar sells you car rental that “doesn’t suck,” they’re really selling you car rental that doesn’t involve ordinary people, that end arounds the inefficiencies of large-scale practice by buying out of it. 

The luxury of avoiding people

The company responded to my questions about its environmental practices by emailing a press release containing information identical to what’s in the catalogue.

- The New Yorker on the ridiculousness of Restoration Hardware's annual 17-lb catalogue

Look out, gays and lesbians – the straight people are coming for your real estate.

- Salon asks the now-age-old question of whether or not gayborhoods are dying out

[The Wikimedia Foundation] argues that [photographer David] Slater doesn’t own the picture’s copyright because he didn’t take the picture – the monkey did. And since the monkey can’t own the rights, nobody does.

- Who owns the rights to a monkey's selfie?

Our complicated relationship with clowns spans everything from the circus to the sex dungeon, from Saturday morning Bozo to Tim Curry peering up from the storm drain, from Patch Adams to Insane Clown Posse, not to mention the ubiquity of that flame-haired, greasepaint visage, the placidly smiling face of what is surely the 20th-century Ozymandias: Ronald McDonald. Every person I told about my plan to attend the clown convention voiced concern for my well-being.

- BuzzFeed pays a visit to the World Clown Association annual conference